Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
