I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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