do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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