hell yes lets make some ravioli
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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