woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
