it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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