I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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