i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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