I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
