his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
