I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
