Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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