Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
