did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
