i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
