I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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