Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
