My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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