I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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