I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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