dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
