i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
