Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
