no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
