i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
