I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
