Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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