I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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