I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
