Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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