You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
