I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
