Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
