Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
