I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
