before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
