Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
