I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
