dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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