We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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