I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
