So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
