I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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