I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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