I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
