Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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