Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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