I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
handjob tips. give me some.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
