there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
