Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
