why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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